chase the DEVIL out of me

It was not until I took my shower this morning when the scene appeared.

I was in a familiar room, like it was my own room (I know now it wasn't), when I suddenly felt so scared as if they were pair of dark eyes looking at me. I tried to get out of the room. But then I changed my mind. I tried to dare the owner of the invisible eyes.

I stood on the bed (I think it was a bed…or chair perhaps?), and challenge myself. Let’s just face this unknown source of fear once and for all. I tried to mouth few zikr that I know. To my surprise (or was it exactly how I thought it would be?)  I couldn't recite anything. My lips and my tongue didn't want to cooperate. Nothing came out of my mouth except hard breath and alien language. “So this is how people felt when they said they can’t recite a thing”, I thought to myself.

In that struggled, I remembered I was thinking to myself, “Just try to recite anything short. Anything that could scare that thing out of it wits.” And I finally did it. I can’t be sure now but I think I did recite ‘Lahawlawala quwwata illa billah’.

لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ اِلَّا بِالله.

[There is no might and no strength except with the help of Allah.]

A few times, until my lips and my tongue found their way to cooperate. Until the sound of the zikr came out clearly and loudly.

And that’s when something dark came out of nowhere scream angrily. And it came to me. And I wasn't even scared anymore. And I faced it. And...well, that’s as far as I could remember. That's as far as the scene appeared in my mind.

Honestly, it took me few seconds to determine whether it's real or just a dream. I tell you, it was a dream. And even if it was real, I hope I really chased the devil out of me. 

*****

“Maukah aku tunjukkan kepadamu sebuah kalimat yang berasal dari bawah ‘Arsy dari pusaka surga? Katakanlah olehmu: لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله ‘tidak ada daya dan kekuatan kecuali dengan kekuasaan Allah’, niscaya Allah akan mengatakan, ‘hambaKu telah menyerahkan dirinya dan meminta perlindungan.”
(HR Al-Hakim dari Abu Hurairah r.a)

Anas ibn Malik (radiyallahu anhu) narrated: Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whoever recites when he leaves his home: 'In the Name of Allah, I have placed my trust in Allah, and there is no might or power except with Allah,' it will be said to him: You have been guided, spared and protected, and Shaytan will be kept far from him.”

Meaning & Virtues of Hauqalah